Star Chronicle Issue that I'm Most Proud of

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Papa

How can a writer become a teacher?

How can a boy know when he meets her?

How can he know what to feature?

Why do I even bother?

How can a wordsmith find his calling?

How does he know when he’s falling?

How can he continue after stalling?

The adversary’s stronger.

How can he love his work so much?

How can he keep his playful touch?

How can he answer questions as such?

I emulate my father.

I dedicate this poem to the coolest man I know, my father. 

Only in Dreams Chapter 3

 “You know how Christians believe that the downfall of man was caused by knowledge?” Orphen asked the intangible woman beside him.

The thing about Emily is that she doesn’t have a single form. Just like women often change clothes, she often changes form. This time, her hair is the hue of a dark red flame; it burned as intensely as her words.

“Are you talking about the story about the fruit and the snake? I’ve seen that dream countless times. Can’t these people come up with new stories?” Orphen has been having these talks with Emily for what seemed like an eternity at the time and he has figured out several things that really rub her the wrong way. Some of the worst offenders were repetition and mundanity.

“Redundant or not, they’re probably right. I mean, now that we know that everything is just a series of chemical reactions, what’s the point of it all? My choices, my memories, even love can easily be manipulated with drugs and hormones.” His furrowed brows were like war trenches for his ideas.

“So you believe that ignorance gives life meaning?” Her bladed words contrasted her current pale, brilliant form. Even though the sun is just another memory to her, freckles gently peppered her otherwise flawless skin.

The trenches in his forehead deepened and shook. A nuclear explosion in his mind was the cause. During the aftershock, Orphen said, “Kind of… With ignorance comes mystery. And with mystery comes hope.”

The flame she called her hair ignited the blue skies in her eyes. It took all of Orphen’s will to not melt under her intense gaze. “Hope that there’s something more? You humans are always too greedy. If there is a God, I pity Him… or Her. Whatever She or He gives you, you will never be content." Emily sighed and the universe cried out in dismay. Her eyes welled up with sympathy, she said, “feeding the infinitely hungry, what a terrible job.”

“Besides, if you open up a clock and find out that gears make it tick, does that make time meaningless? The problem is the fact that people WANT to manipulate the gears of the mind. Knowledge isn’t the downfall of man, nor is it the power that comes with knowledge. Your downfall is greed and arrogance.” Sympathy turned into wrath; her mood as fickle as her form.

To Orphen, she looked like a raging Goddess, ready to smite her disobedient creations. But instead of being afraid, he was enthralled. And that idea, the idea that he already belongs to her, scared him a bit. And then, a moment of lucidity came, he asked, “Come to think of it, I’ve never wondered what you are. Could you actually be God or are you just a series of chemical reactions in my fucked up head?”

The storm cleared, the wildfire calmed, Emily smiled, “Ha! You’re having a laugh aren’t you? Why would I make such whiny, destructive creatures? I am but a record keeper. I don’t create anything. I just store memories that I find interesting.”

“To what end?” Orphen asked.

“That may be the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me. You really are crazy, aren’t you?"

"We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in." - Ernest Hemingway

Only in Dreams Chapter 2

“There’s something that I don’t understand about you humans.” Emily said.

“Something that stumped even the shrewd dream seer? This I have to hear.” Orphen had a shit eating grin plastered on his face, stoking the embers of Emily’s frustration.

“Why do you feel that it’s necessary to put yourselves at risk for happiness that is not even certain? Why would you intentionally wound yourselves for something that has such little chance of success? Contentment seems like the better alternative, no matter how I look at it.”

Her words were like venom to him, burning his skin, but he didn’t know why. “I wouldn’t say that we intentionally wound ourselves. I mean, if you broke my heart, it wouldn’t necessarily be my fault now, would it?” He said while fidgeting with his fingers.

“Does it matter who lets loose the blade of the guillotine if you intentionally stick your head under it?” Emily said, her divine composure once again apparent.

“I can see your point, sort of... I guess we’re just desperate to be heard, to be understood. So desperate for sincerity that we slice our chests open just to show the other person that our heart is beating faster at the sight of them.” Orphen said in trance. It always seemed like a natural thing to do. But at the moment, Orphen realized how ridiculous human relationships are.

“And you’d do this even while knowing that the other person can just let your heart fall into the dirt?” A genuine look of curiosity dawned on her face. Some might argue that a little bit of awe slipped from her crimson lips.

“Yep.” He said without a hint of hesitation.

“Masochists, the lot of you.” Her tone was harsh but her lips betrayed her.

"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes"

 -Winston Churchill

Only in Dreams Chapter 1

“I feel like I’m chasing my mind.” Orphen said to the woman next to him. Her name is Emily, or so she said. Everything about Emily was uncertain. The only thing that was certain was that Orphen was under her spell; almost like she was made for him, literally made for him. Her eyes were like the ocean: blue, deep, and easy to get lost in.

“Don’t you mean, losing your mind?” Emily asked. Her voice was relatively low pitched and had a boyish quality to it.

“No, I mean I’m chasing it. It goes without saying that I’m losing it as well but it’s important to note that I AM chasing it. It means that I’m not letting it go but it keeps trying to slip away. I’m not like the others; I’m quite partial to reality, to what we have here.”

Her lips slowly parted, revealing slightly imperfect teeth. Some of them were ever so slightly crooked. Her nose crinkled and the two oceans dimmed. Her smile grew wider, eventually evolving into a cute and out of character, high-pitched laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Orphen asked. He wanted to sound irritated but the girl in front of him was so perfectly imperfect that it was impossible for him to do so.

“How do you know that this is reality? For all you know, you’re eating shit in the middle of the road, mumbling to yourself. It’s not like that situation is far-fetched either. You sleep 12 hours a day. And if we count daydreams and hallucinations then you spend more time in the ephemeral world than you do in the real one. How do you know which is which?”

“Well, reality is constant. It has rules that it follows.” Orphen said unconvincingly.

“Those rules and that feeling of persistence might be part of the dream. You never realize the ridiculousness of dreams until after the illusion has faded. How can you be partial to reality when it is virtually impossible to confirm it?”

“Alright, I give. But I still prefer this, whatever this is.”

“So you don’t prefer reality. You’re just afraid of change.”

“Not change... loss.”

Unclaimed Shadow End?

She stood up, finally breaking their connection. She turned to him and said, “I can’t save you.” The pain and darkness that she kept stored deep in the recesses of the mystery that she called her mind, have seeped into her lips and her eyes. They infected her looks and yet somehow enhanced it. Her eyes were a cruel combination of beauty and pain. “I’m just as lost as you,” she said.


It was time. He cut loose the words that he painstakingly collected through endless nights of rumination. “You know the feeling when just as you arrive at school, it dawns on you that you've forgotten to do your homework? It’s a terrible feeling, like a horde of bats scratching away at the lining of your stomach. Then you realize there are others like you and suddenly everything is alright. You know you’re still in trouble but somehow you don’t really care that much. What I’m trying to say is that… we can be lost together.”

Eyes as Captivating as a Thousand Setting Suns

I know your mind like the back of my head,

Surely this attraction is corporeal,

But your eyes they call to me with words unsaid,

Revealing my past self’s memorial,

I promised never to obsess like this,

Another broken vow discarded,

But you know what, I would still be in bliss,

If to me, your gaze is awarded,

So much for the philosophy of love,

Are we but lost souls at the end of the day?

A slave to a choice made up above,

A prisoner to what your eyes portray.